


Not Your Damsels In Distress

by katling



Series: Tony Stark Bingo 2019 [7]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Author is salty, Civil War Team Iron Man, I kind of change the ending, I may have inverted the prompt, M/M, Moderated because of trolls, Mostly Thor: Ragnarok Friendly, Not Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, and it was with Natasha in this fic, badass ladies being badass, carol is pouting, lady loki makes an appearance, not team Cap friendly, the rogues apparently have one brain cell between them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-04
Updated: 2019-03-04
Packaged: 2019-11-09 03:03:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17993621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katling/pseuds/katling
Summary: The Rogues make a very, very,verybig mistake when they decide to crash a certain girls' day out.Written for the Tony Stark Bingo 2019 - Square T3: Damsels (and others) In Distress





	Not Your Damsels In Distress

Tony stared at Rhodey and blinked, trying to make the words he’d just said make sense. “They… kidnapped Pepper?”

“Yes,” Rhodey said grimly.

“The Rogues… my idiot ex-teammates… kidnapped Pepper?”

“Yes.”

“They kidnapped Pepper Potts, my CEO and ex-girlfriend?”

“Yes.”

Tony stared at him for a moment longer then he slowly shook his head. “They’re dead. I mean… screw anything you or I might do, Pepper’s going to kill them with her shoes.”

Rhodey smirked just a little. “Yes. And it gets better.”

Tony raised an eyebrow. “Oh?”

“They kidnapped Hope Van Dyne as well. And Jane Foster. And Darcy Lewis.”

Tony gaped a little so Rhodey continued.

“And Betty Ross.”

Tony choked on his own spit a bit at that. After Bruce had returned with Thor, Loki and a gaggle of Asgardians, Betty had turned up at the Compound and immediately corralled Bruce. Tony didn’t know what had been said but when they’d emerged, Bruce had looked happy and Betty a little bit smug so Tony had been pleased for them. And when Bruce had subsequently apologised for not listening (which Tony had considered water under the bridge but still… it had been nice to actually get an apology for something for once, even if he didn’t need it), Tony was pretty happy himself. It was nice to have his science bro back.

But his science bro was going to turn big, green and angry over this because Bruce might love and adore Betty but the Hulk flat out worshipped the ground she walked on.

“I knew they were dumb but…” he said, shaking his head.

Rhodey’s smirk widened as he leaned against the bench. “Oh, it gets better.”

“How?” Tony said. “Who else could they possibly have kidnapped?”

“Sif, Brunnhilde, Gamora and Nebula,” Rhodey replied. “Oh, and Loki.”

Tony stared at him and then collapsed laughing. “Loki?” he managed to choke out between laughter.

“He decided it was time to take Lady Loki out for a spin,” Rhodey said. “The ladies deemed that to be the perfect excuse for a girls’ day out.”

“And Rogers and his band of merry morons decided to kidnap them?” Tony said, shaking his head as he wiped away tears of laughter. He carefully put aside the thought of Loki’s female form to be perused later. “Have we heard from them yet? The ladies, that is, not the morons.”

Rhodey nodded. “Pepper called about ten minutes ago. Carol went to pick them up. She’s pouting that the Accords meeting meant that she couldn’t join them.”

“I’ll bet. She’s been dying for an excuse to kick Rogers’ ass,” Tony said with a chuckle. He frowned and shook his head. “What on earth possessed them to do that? Surely Natasha would have told them how stupid it was?”

“Natasha was seen yesterday in Prague. Remember?” Rhodey said. “That’s why the Accords Council called the emergency meeting.”

“Oh, right. Their only voice of sanity was absent,” Tony said. “You know, I’m still not used to not being in the know on these things.” He held up a hand. “Not that I’m complaining. It’s weird but refreshing.”

“Carol was right, you know,” Rhodey said. “Not everything should be on your shoulders and if you’re providing housing, finance and tech, you shouldn’t have to be doing everything else as well.”

“It’s nice,” Tony said with a smile. “Having an actual _team_.”

Rhodey chuckled and pushed himself off the bench. Tony took a moment to admire the motion and reminded himself to thank Loki once again for fixing his friend. Loki hadn’t been sure it would actually work, had spent weeks ensuring he wasn’t going to cause any more damage, but it had. Tony had kissed him the aftermath then spent two weeks ~~hiding~~ working really, really hard in his workshop until Rhodey himself had let Loki in. They’d talked, then argued, then talked some more and then… well, it had gone well, is what Tony was saying, even if he did sometimes question his sanity for getting involved with the God of Mischief.

“Well,” Rhodey said, drawing Tony out of his thoughts. “Shall we go and meet the conquering ladies when they return?”

“Of course,” Tony said. He got to his feet. “FRI? How about getting some party supplies in? I think the ladies deserve a celebration!”


End file.
